Good whatever this is.

I'm not sure whether to wish you a "Good morning" or "Good afternoon". I never know the appropriate status of the day, my times get all screwed up. I haven't been to sleep yet, unfortunately. I was up late, angry about humanity and religion and the like. I was just about to fall asleep around 6:00 AM, when a transformer/streetlight/something blew outside my window, and pretty much startled the hell out of me. The cat was quite upset, too. I wasn't able to get to sleep after that, and I had to wake up at 7:00 for the garage sale anyway.

I was writing this in my actual journal originally, but I thought I might embellish on it here. I was sitting in the garage, watching the rain outside...thinking about how people take it for granted. Then I came inside, and as I was listening to "A Lack of Color" and watching life go on outside, I realized that people really take things for granted in life. Take rain, for instance. Rain is generally deemed unpleasant. People think rain is unfortunate, crappy, what have you. I'm sure it's to do with our obsession with aesthetics, of course. It ruins your hair, so it obviously means bad news. It's unfortunate that people can't appreciate things for what they are. All they can see is how the thing might negatively effect something so trivial and superficial compared to the vast beauty of a thunderstorm, and get all bent out of shape about it. It's the same when people don't stop to look at flowers on walks, or stop to admire the little things in life. People are always in such a rush to get to where they're going. Everyone always wants it to be tomorrow, and nobody wants to reflect on yesterday, or appreciate today. You will never get today back. Is it really necessary for you to miss out on beautiful things, just because you're impatient? I apologize, I'm rambling. It's probably the lack of sleep.

People are just too busy worrying about social status and money to be able to stop for a damn second and appreciate this world that we have to live in, and things that could make your day a lot better if you took the time to see them.

Vessles

It's interesting, in my opinion, to think about objects. All objects are vessels for memories. Even the smallest of objects works this way. For example, think of the remnants of a cigarette you see in a parking lot somewhere. To you, it's just trash. To someone else, it might have been a cigarette to calm down after a really stressful day. Or maybe it was their last cigarette, and then they were quitting. Maybe it was some kid's first cigarette, experiencing that moment for the first time...something they'll always remember. Look at a chair in your living room. Someone had to dream up the creative idea for it. Someone made the executive decision to make it look the way it did, and they did so for some reason. That person maybe had a family, and there's so many more memories tied to that.

Everything has so many different paths of memories that follow it, and everyone sees things so differently from the rest of the world.

Sleep would have been nice.

Today is one of those days where I'd really just like to listen to Death Cab and disappear. There are things in my life I'm very fortunate to have, and when I think of those things I can be happy...but it's been a terrible week. I just want to blast Death Cab and drive, and not look back. I wish I had a place to go to hide other than my head. I wish I had a haven. I want to blend into the horizon and stay there until everything can be okay again.

Sleep would be nice.

Apparently, unless it was just a very rare occasion...Generic Nyquil makes me hallucinate. This is pretty much unpleasant. I was up every 5-10 minutes last night and I could not tell what was a dream and what wasn't. It was terrifying. I was afraid I might never wake up. I don't know why this week has been so bad, but I'm kind of wishing it would stop. I would be able to deal with it even in the slightest, too, if I wasn't so violently sick.